What is love?

What is love?

Love is something we all talk about and the word is more than well used. Perhaps this is why we seem to not fully be clear about what it means to us. What is love to you? It seems that as long as we keep on only discussing, talking, intellectualizing, analyzing, having opinions, agreeing, disagreeing and so on, we will always be in conflict. We will always feel confused

and lost in the mass of ideas, concepts, words, opinions etc. What happens when we do not cling to these thoughts, ideas, meanings? Is there a way of showing up, of being without relying on our thoughts?

Love or need?

People are discussing intellectually “what is love?”

Is there any way to find out intellectually what love is? How do we know for sure that it is love tha we are feeling? Is love simply a tickling sensation, pleasure, need, sex, beauty, desire? Who decides what love is? Did you experience love yourself? Are you clear about what it is? Can we separate love from ourselves? Can we isolate it and only develop it, alone, independently, only as a fragment of ourselves? Can you be taught by someone else how to love, or can someone else simply teach you how to act as one who is loving?

I guess the answers to these questions would be plentiful. People have storage rooms full of opinions about just this subject. It is complicated to intellectually, analytically become clear of anything when there are so many opinions, directions, schools, ideas, concepts etc. about love, what it is

and how you can attain it. Honestly, I do not really know what love is. It is as if this word cannot be used because it carries such a heavy luggage. All the information we are bombarded with concerning love and what it should be or what it should feel like when we are in it. I can recognize a multitude of love definitions in myself, but I cannot rest on them and stop my investigation because I am not satisfied with what I find.

Let us say that love is only desire. The desire for sex, the desire for safety, the desire to be close to someone, the desire for comfort, companionship, intimacy, stability, support etc. As far as seen initially, these desires are accepted as being part of love throughout our western popular world and beyond. These wants seems at first glance to be normal, standard and so integrated that they might even be invisible for most of us. Somebody asks you, why do you love you husband, wife or partner? You might answer, “Because he/she is a perfect match to me, he/she is generous, kind, beautiful, funny, easy to live with, that´s why I love my spouse”. Do we simply stop here, in our investigation about what love is? Is it as mentioned above only a satisfying of our desires? We love the people that fit our wants? Is it that shallow? Is it that conditioned? At this point in the presentation most of us would go “nooo, of course not!” and then dig for something deeper. Maybe something we have red somewhere, by some great wise person, but If we really take a look at ourselves honestly, thoroughly and inwardly I will guess that for most of us the list of desires governs a lot of our daily feelings, thoughts and actions concerning the people we say we love.

Is it possible to love unconditionally?

Have you experienced to be in a “mood” or state where you have felt wonderful, where you have been giving of yourself unconditionally, where you do not expect something in return but are able to see the other person for what he or she really is and love that person the way that person needs to be loved? We are very used to be demanding or expecting from others. We are in a state of want or lack, something must be given to us to make us happy, but if you take a look, the times when you experience that deep happiness, joy, love or whatever we call it is when you are giving. When you are giving unconditionally. You are full and it´s running over! Now when we have arrived here, at this point it seems that love cannot be separated from joy, happiness, passion or inspiration. They are all the same.